Hello. My name is Shannon, and I am an over planner. Actually, more like a reformed over planner these days.
Up until a few months ago I needed to have a plan for EVERYTHING. When I could not form a thorough plan due to lack of time or information, or things did not go according to the plan, I would become overwhelmed and anxious. I tended to have a flawless plan A, followed by a plan B, and a plan C.
There have been times when my obsessive planning has proven beneficial. For instance, I credit my obsessive need to plan ahead for the reason that I graduated from a top tier research university for free – four years of tuition, books, room and board all paid for by scholarships, grants, and gifts. That meant no money out of pocket and $0 to pay back for my bachelor’s degree. Thank you very much, anxiety!
However, in recent years, I have come to see my over planning for what it really has been all along. Essentially, an unhealthy need for control and a fear of uncertainty. Thank you very much, counseling!
I have been reminded in some most unpleasant ways that even your best laid, researched, funded, and praised plans for life can go astray at any moment.
Sometimes we find ourselves barely holding on by a thread to our plan C. That is, of course, after failing miserably at both the ideal and safety plans.
However, on the other side of failure is often beauty, peace, and better options than we could have ever imagined. All too often, you have to go through some things to get to the rewards on other side. I know it can be hard to remember, or believe, this when you are in the thick of things and you can’t see the forest for the trees.
What helped me to drastically reduce my over planning, and harping on the plans that did not pan out, was getting in the habit of practicing gratitude.
I may not be where I had planned to be, but I am farther from where I started and closer to where God is calling me to be. I am grateful for that.
Scientific studies have proven that the simple act of being thankful and expressing appreciation for even the most mundane things can have powerful and lasting impacts on your mental and physical health.
Take a moment today to practice being grateful for what was, what is, and what can be. Make it a habit to practice gratitude daily. Start or end your day expressing your gratitude for at least one thing. Even if that one thing is simply that you woke up. Even if you find yourself repeating the same thing every day for a while.
I always include a monthly gratitude list spread in my bullet journal, and I recommend that you get in the habit of writing a gratitude list.
Practicing gratitude frees you up from the constraints of the shoulda, coulda, wouldas. When you can identify things to appreciate about your life as it is you will be better able to appreciate that every moment is a gift that brings with it the opportunity to start fresh, to exercise your choices, to evolve.
You do not need to spend your time and energy fearing, or trying in vain to control, what you cannot predict. You can trust yourself to handle what comes next.
Let go of the planned life and embrace the life you have.
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